I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
