he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
