she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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