I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
