I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
