he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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