i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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