i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
