4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
