Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
