Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
