i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
