I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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