Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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