I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
