In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
