I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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