remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
did you just send me my own nude
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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