Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
