I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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