Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
