soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
