I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
