Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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