I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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