My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
