my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
