Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
