I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
did you just send me my own nude
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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