Rock
Scissors
Fuck
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
