I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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