dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
