Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
