You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
