Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
