i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
