a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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