You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize