Apparently you make a good broom.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
