If that was your dad, he is hot
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need to calm my uterus...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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