I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
