Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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