i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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