god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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