By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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