I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
