if i can run in heels then i can drive
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ruined the universe
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
