Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
