no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
