You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
