3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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