I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When are your genitals available?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
