I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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