there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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