I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
