We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
