forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
