Are we in a gay sports bar?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
