PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
