i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
