If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
