I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
