garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
