Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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