I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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