saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
