Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
