What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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