How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
